Category Archives: Growing and Resting in the Grace of God

Silence the Voices Outside Your Head

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Silence the Voices Outside Your Head

These are strange times.

Recently I heard our governor say that there were one hundred thousand more claims for unemployment assistance in March than all of last year. It’s unprecedented and the system couldn’t handle it. People are frustrated and desperate, tired of waiting and anxious for their future.

There there are the mask wars. Perfectly nice people are making harsh judgment about people who don’t wear them and other equally wonderful people are taking a hard stance against being told they must. It’s crossed the line to religion, with some declaring anyone not wearing a mask in public as not being Christlike.

Others are boldly redirecting errant shoppers who are walking the wrong way down an aisle at Publix, the place where shopping used to be a pleasure but now feels more like a twist up of Survivor and Amazing Race.

I firmly believe that whether you are anxiously awaiting the reopening of your nail salon or think we should shelter in place all summer you are a good person who is processing information and dealing with this “thing that’s going on” as best you know how.

The reason I believe that is I know you. I’ve had conversations with you and listened to your heart. You know who doesn’t believe that about you? The guy on the neighborhood app or the local Facebook page who loves to troll and bait and wait for a reaction.

About a year ago I listened to a podcast by Emily P. Freeman. She talked about the need to assess anxiety triggers in everyday routine. I began paying attention to the things that appeared in my inbox, in my social media feeds and the things I was listening to and reading.

While I couldn’t silence them all, I identified a number that I realized I was choosing to allow into my space. To begin, I followed Emily’s advice and turned off all notifications on my smartphone. I moved social media apps to the last page on my phone, where they were less tempting when answering a text message or using navigation.

The biggest trigger I identified was from Facebook groups. I realized that the level of rude and unkind behavior there was causing me to waver between anger and sadness. I left the groups just like I would walk away from a conversation overheard in a coffee shop.

My next step was to begin unfollowing people. When I encountered a post that caused me to begin to tremble in my spirit, or to feel fussy, irritated or bothered, I chose to quiet that voice. I began to ignore with intention the voices that were outside of my true circle of influence and physical space by unfollowing and unfriending.

Two years later, I still don’t want to argue or watch others argue but I’ve realized that’s become the new normal. So here I am again, doing the work to silence the source of the trembling.

We each have a measure of energy for every day; some more than others, but everyone is limited. In times like these, when taking care of ourselves and those around us is critical, I want my choices, my conversations and my mental, physical and spiritual energy to be for things that matter.

I’ll close today with a prayer for us, my dear friends and readers:

Father God,

We don’t know when this storm will pass (or if it will at all) but we know you, the one who promised to be with us in every storm. Our bodies are tired, our minds are overwhelmed by the data, and our spirits are heavy with the weight of it all. Many are anxious over lost wages, poor health and stressed relationships. There are so many things that cannot and should not be silenced. But in your loving kindness grant us wisdom the silence the voices that we should. You are our God, we are your people. Today, may we hear your voice.

In the name of and by the grace granted to us through Christ,

Amen

Be Well. Be Safe. Be the compassion of Christ. And Beware: if you see me in Publix and I’m walking the wrong way, I am not being deliberately thoughtless but more likely overwhelmed. I’m a nice Southern lady but if you have the nerve to tell me I’m going the wrong way my response may be less church lady and more Tasmanian devil.

By grace alone,

lorraine

If you would like to hear more from Emily P. Freeman, I highly recommend her Tuesday podcast, The Next Right Thing. You can find it on any podcast application.

Stuffing is for Turkeys and Taxidermy

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Stuffing is for Turkeys and Taxidermy

She leads a launch team that I’m part of and on that day, she delivered some unwelcome news; many people in the group would not receive a physical advance copy of the book.

I made the cut, so I was reading the complaints and expressions of disappointment with little empathy.

I sent a text to the leader, hoping to offer a word of encouragement, assuming the comments were discouraging her yet impressed by the way she was extending grace to the “complainers”.

“You are such a great team leader. You are managing these poor, bitter people well.”

In hindsight, I see my self-righteousness (hypocritical as it was) in that second sentence. She replied within minutes, so kind, but her statement set me back on my heels.

“It’s okay to experience and express disappointment.”

I recalled that I had surveyed that list of paper copies and was very relieved to find my name. On the other hand, there was another list, for one of my favorite authors, and I didn’t “make the cut”. I internally decided I didn’t have time to promote a book that I wouldn’t get to read before launch.

Honestly, I had to acknowledge I was nursing a splinter of bitterness, disappointed that I wasn’t chosen. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve thought about my reaction and her statement frequently.

I’ve discovered something to be true in my judgement of others. Every single time, the thing I’m most critical of in others is my struggle as well. Perhaps that is why the Bible says in Matthew 7:3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?” In my experience, their splinter is from the same “wood” as my log.

In this exchange my friend short-circuited my judgement with a simple, yet profound statement of grace – permission to express disappointment. It was one I hadn’t even allowed myself.

Expression of emotions is healthy. In fact, the best way to diffuse a powerful emotion is to express it. In my culture (family, work, church) there is a lot of freedom to express positive emotion, but we often haven’t known what to do with negative ones.

Just this morning, I read from Philippians 4 where we are admonished and encouraged to focus our minds on true things (among others) so that we can walk with God in peace. Does that seem like a contradiction to expressing negative feelings? Stay with me for another minute or two, friend.

In this case, I was disappointed that I would not receive a physical copy of Stasi Eldredge’s new book. She’s my all-time favorite non-fiction author and her book Captivating changed my life more than any book other than the Bible. My disappointment was a reasonable and healthy emotional response.

After admitting and expressing my disappointment, I moved on to embrace the truth:

  • I have the resources to buy the book, or my library will have the book and I can request it online for delivery to my door (we live in amazing times, ya’ll!).
  • Serving on launch teams gives me opportunities to interact with amazing authors and book lovers while we share new books with our communities.

And just like that…I’m flooded with gratitude and yes, peace. Peace comes with the right perspective, but we only get there by appropriately expressing honest emotions. I’m so thankful for the patient and smart people around me, who continue to extend grace as I learn and grow in the marvelous grace of God.

By his grace alone,

lorraine

Dance With Me?

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Dance With Me?

For months, I’ve taken a sabbatical from writing. Words, impactful words anyway, come from the vulnerable places of the heart. The deepest places in my heart are exposed by the truth of Scripture and that’s where the words flow. It’s been a dry season, but I’ve never doubted God’s faithfulness.

Thankfully, words have begun to come again. If someone reads them and finds encouragement it is only because the God of the valley of dry bones has breathed life into them. Perhaps this piece was not meant for me alone, but if it was, He is still a very kind Father.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”
Matthew 11:28-30, The Message

Recently, my husband held me close as we glided around a dance floor at a wedding reception. Neither of us is a great dancer, but I know this much well: only one of us can lead. I rested my head on his shoulder, closed my eyes and simply moved with his body. He led us around the dance floor, gently and tenderly holding me. I never looked up, preferring to rest in his arms and trust his lead. It was easy and comforting and I felt so very loved by this man who has been dancing with me for over forty-six years.

A few days later I was reading the passage above from Matthew and I remembered that dance. Jesus whispered “Just lean into me; allow me to lead. I will show you the unforced way of grace living.” He is so gracious, friends, this Jesus who has also been dancing with me for the same forty-six plus years.

There is no heavy yoke, pulling me in a direction when I walk with Him. He promised “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Rest. Our bodies need it and our souls crave it. I hope you got to take a great vacation this summer, but by the time the suitcases were unpacked, the laundry was finished and fridge was restocked you may have already grown weary.

Perhaps you crave rest as you look forward to this next season.

Dance with Him. His steps are sure. Trust his lead, my friend. He will take you to a place of true rest.

Trusting His lead,

lorraine